I read a really touching post this morning on a MySpace account. A divorced father is going to court to fight for custody of his son and is terrified. There were a few things he wanted the world to know, so I’m going to help him out.

I want the world to know….. The law system was not made for the father. It was made to protect the mother and children. The father’s rights are very rarely taken into consideration. Mothers: Take advantage Fathers: Beware But given that fact, I am going to court on Monday. I am going to fight for custody of my son like he asked me to. I am not gonna state my whole case here, but I would like everyone to know that fathers care too. Fathers try too. Fathers are not always bad and children should never be a pawn. Sometimes there are some people that learn from examples and don’t become them. Sometimes people go through experiences that they want to correct. Sometimes people just see a pure and innocent child and want to be their world. That is what I see in all 5 of my children. I hope that those of you that know me best kow that I am a pure and true soul. And the most important thing to me is my children. And I hope those of you that know that will wish me luck (say a prayer…..whatever suits you) on Monday. Cuz I am freakin out!!!!! I love these kids and this is killin me!

The comments on this post were supportive and caring. But, they also reveal a lot about what most people think about the Family Court System and custody battles. One comment, in particular hit me the hardest. It’s interesting because she is reassuring this man that there is hope. But listen to how hopeless is sounds:

Family courts are getting better about seeing what’s best for the child and not just giving the child to the mom and assuming that the dad can’t take care of the child because…well, he’s a dad. The system isn’t perfect, we all know that…and sometimes things don’t go the way we want them to. A very good friend of mine is going through the same thing only the baby is 10 months old, and it has been dragging out since the child was born. At least the judge is giving him his time in court, the child is to young to be asked what he wants. It will be especially hard because you can’t prove her unfit. . .

Let me be very clear here. I am extremely impressed and grateful that this woman took the time to comment and offer a supportive shoulder, and I am not taking anything away from her kindness. I wish there were more like her. I just find it disturbing that people obviously recognize that “the system isn’t perfect” and that some divorced fathers have to essentially prove the mother can’t take care of the child in order to having a fighting chance. A father should have equal access to their child by default! There should never be a time when someone needs to tell a father “good luck in Family Court, maybe the Courts will get it right. It happens sometimes.”

Good luck to you. I hope that justice is served, and that both you and your ex get the equal access you are entitled to.

Don’t forget I have the “Your Stories” section. I would really love to start getting stories from divorced fathers, whether it’s about your experience with the Family Courts or just how much you love your kids. Email me your stories, or I’ll take them like I did this Dad’s :).