Sorry to any who might of tried to visit my site and received a timeout error. My host underwent a DDOS attack, and my site was down all day. I will say that I was very impressed with how quickly Blue Host responded to my inquiries. I just started using them, and I’ve been really happy so far. Great price and service. That’s hard to beat in the online world of non-existent help. So kudos to them. Again, sorry for any inconvenience in trying to access this blog.

Thanks,
Eric

I came across a report on Digg from The Christian Science Monitor regarding visitation through Webcam. While the story is fairly old (March 2006), I think it still warrants some attention and discussion.

Essentially, Michael Gough “visits” his daughter, Saige, via Webcam. His ex-wife moved to Colorado and he resides in Virginia. It appears that there was no disagreement over his ex-wife’s decision to move, and this arrangement seems to work well for the couple. In fact, Gough has been working with lawmakers and activists to introduce virtual-visitation bills.

At first, I thought, “Hey, that sounds like an interesting idea.” I’m a tech geek anyway and believe that technology can, in fact, make like a lot easier. It gives non-custodial father’s a chance to actually see their children when the they live far away, right?

But, what would that do in regards to a judge’s decision making process when the custodial parent wants to move? The article raised this question as well. While Gough and others assure that there is language in the bill labeling Webcam visitation as “supplemental,” I’m not convinced this would be adhered to in the Family Court System. The case in Kentucky that I wrote about is a great example.

While Judges are only one symptom of a much larger problem in our society regarding a father’s equal access to their child, there is a ridiculous amount of leeway in the Family Court System. Language in a bill that says the Webcam visitation should only be used as a supplemental method doesn’t ensure that it will be. And, it’s terrifying to think how easy it may become for a custodial parent to make the following argument: “Moving to XYZ is in the best interest of the child. Plus, their father can visit via Webcam.” Definitely murky ground, and I think Gough and other proponents of this type of legislation should tread lightly. Not everyone’s ex-wife wants the father to have access, and many already use the huge arsenal of inherent biases to their advantage. Why give them one more weapon?

All new ventures need a little tweaking. When I added Your Voice to the blog, I truly expected to receive emails from divorced Dads that wanted their voice to be heard; that wanted to tell others about their experience- the good, the bad, and the ugly. Really, I got the idea after reading many of the stories on Dads in Distress. Unfortunately, this has not been the case. But, I’m not giving up. Instead, I decided that I was limiting myself too much. What I was asking for wasn’t clear enough.

So, I’ve decided to highlight this section a little more and to explain what I’m looking for a bit more. I really believe that this section can be a wonderful addition to Divorced Dads Matter and can provide information and hope for other divorced or divorcing fathers. Here are a few ideas of what I would love to hear: what you love most about being a father, advice to other fathers going through divorce, or resources that have been helpful to you in coping with divorce and all its woes.

Other divorced fathers need to hear that they are not alone. Be the first to speak out. Offer your experience and hope to other fathers. You can make a difference. Your voice can be heard!

Some days I read a post like Good Idea- If They Can’t Afford Their Child Support, Take Their Jobs on Glenn Sacks blog, and I feel grateful for others that care, but hopeless at the same time. How does one continue to write day after day, to speak out week after week against such seemingly insurmountable odds? It gets tiring to say the least. Then, throw on top of the heap the MIS-perception that all father’s rights activists are anti-feminist, and it just gets murkier. Reminds me of the movie 300. The few against the many. Sadly, there is all of this resistance to something so beneficial- fathers who want to be a meaningful part of their children’s lives. What a crime? The horror. The horror.

Sacks’ post deals with preliminary approved Kansas legislation that would suspend professional licenses of father’s that are behind on their child support. What a ridiculous solution to problem! Are their fathers that don’t pay but have the means to pay. Yes, there are. I had one growing up. Are there divorced fathers that are down on their luck? Are their divorced fathers that are being required by an unjust court system to pay an insanely large portion of their income- a portion so high that most reasonable people would scoff at it? You bet there are. I’ve even blogged about my own experience with the lopsided child support issue. How, then, does this anti-father legislation help these fathers catch up? How does it help the ex-wife or the child? It doesn’t. It perpetuates the problem. Kansas law makers apparently have a fire, and the brilliant solution they came up with for battling it is a 5-gallon drum of gasoline. Bravo! Way to waste more taxpayers’ money.

Epidemic. This is the word I keep coming back to on a regular basis, because it’s the only one I can think of that adequately describes the problem. Destructive. Widespread. Deadly. How many more days, weeks, and years are going to have to pass before this world decides that Divorced Dads do, in fact, Matter?

I’m officially Joost. Just what I needed. One more techy thing to obsess over. If you are unfamiliar, Joost is a free Web 2.0 online TV service. So far, I am impressed with the quality. The selection is minimal, but I expected that. Several of the choices are pretty good. I can already tell that I’m going to be watching a lot of the Saturday Morning channel, which was playing Rocky and Bullwinkle last night. How great is that? Also, there are widgets for Gmail IM client, news feeds, and a few other things.

You have to be invited to join Joost in order sign up, and currently there are no more invitations. But more are on the way and as soon as I have some I’ll be offering them up on my blog. So, if you’re interested check back often, or, better yet, just subscribe to my RSS feed or email feed on the left.

Also, speaking of invitations and Gmail, if any one would like a Gmail account please let me know. I’ve got Gmail invites coming out of my ears. Would love to give some of them away. Send me an email, and I’ll send you an invite.

Speaking of never using  children as a pawn, here are some great ideas and guidelines for parents going through a divorce that I found on DivorceNet. I’ve been meaning to post this for quite some time. I would also add that this list doesn’t necessarily require both parents be on the same page. It certainly makes it easier, but it’s not necessary.

I’ve been able to apply a lot of these on my own, with or without the cooperation of my ex-wife. And, at the end of the day, I can only be responsible for what I’ve done.