Divorced Dads are Equal Parents

Divorced Dads Matter was started by a typical father who was, and is still, constantly amazed at the prevailing social view of fathers as secondary parents and the court systems rubber stamp approval of this attitude.

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It Turns Out That Men Don’t Suck as Parents

Wednesday, June 13th, 2007 | Dads Rights, Ramblings | Eric

MSNBC published a story on Monday about MomBlocking. What is momblocking you ask? Well, it’s a ridiculously stupid and injurious phrase that describes what happens when fathers do what society has been accusing them of not doing for years- being an involved parent. Yep. Involved dads everywhere, you’re doing TOO good of a job. Please stop and go back to doing nothing except farting in your children’s faces and demonstrating how to sit on the couch and watch sports. Apparently, the world is not ready for your involvement.

But almost four years into it, McClure-Metz began to feel her husband was maybe too capable. He had become more competent and assertive in the child-care arena and it showed in small ways. Metz took over when his wife struggled with the car seat, or put the kibosh on plans when he thought their daughter needed down time.

As a man, this is what I hear from our culture:

“Men don’t do enough. Men are lazy and not involved with their children. Men just want women to do everything. Men never pay child support. All divorced fathers are abusers. I’m so sick of men. Blah blah blah. ”

Two days later:
“You’re doing too much. Stop hogging the baby. It’s not right that you know how to take care of our child better than me. Stop being so good at it because now I resent you.”

Would you people please make your freakin’ mind up.

Happy Early Father’s Day to all you Momblocking and Non-momblocking Dads.

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9 Comments to 'It Turns Out That Men Don’t Suck as Parents'

HA Tuttle
June 13, 2007

That’s women for you.

Stephanie
June 13, 2007

Not all women, thanks.

I agree completely that these days, as a man, your pretty well damned if you do and damned if you don’t. The problem, as I see it, is the pendulum is starting to swing back the other way, and all of the Mommies out there with a control freak complex that have been using the father of their children as an ATM without having to actually “deal” with him, are concerned that they might lose control.

Here’s a shocker… kids need BOTH parents. And the women out there who can’t make up their minds whether Dads should participate, pay, participate and pay, or just stay the heck out, should sit down and shut up so that those of us who are still sane can try to salvage some sort of workable family unit from the wreckage they have so selfishly created.

Eric
June 13, 2007

Thanks, Stephanie. As always, I love your comments. And for the record. There are a lot of wonderful, sane moms out there. :)

Joel
June 13, 2007

The first thing that women have to do is recognize that it is alright for them to be wrong about things, to recognize that there is always something to learn, and that the behavior that you reward in a man is the behavior that you promote. So own your mistakes and apologize to your man. It is NOT the end of the world, and if you have chosen to reward a good man for being a good man, he will respect you more for your honesty with yourself. Of course, if you do like most women and reward bad boy behavior, or worse, punish a good man because you think you can get away with it, then don’t complain that things don’t work out the way you want. Remember this, the more you mistreat a man for being good, the more likely you are to have adult children that don’t want to be around you. And neither will anyone else.

Cliff
June 13, 2007

After a almost 2 year custody battle in Virginia, where I as the Father got full physical custody when she decided to move to Cali on a whim, she then decides to move back and try to prove some kind of neglect and calls child protective service (which was an unfounded by CPS) and then decides after the Court system says there’s no reason fro emergency custudy that the kids “deserve” me in their life.

Imagine that. I have had FULL PHYSICAL since August 14th 2006, their grades IMPROVED, I provided them a STABLE environment and then decides I am “unfit” after the CPS officer told me the kids had nothing bad to say about me, the therapist we have been seeing for 16 months says they are happy, the teachers and daycare say they are happy…she decides she’s going to slam my character.

Thank GOD Virginia court systems actually encourage fathers to be involved or I’d be another person like the one described. I did have a very good lawyer, who was a part time judge in the juvenile system, but he has cost me $250 an hour at the total tune of $9,000 so far.

Pete Aldin
June 14, 2007

Good call, Stephanie. Children need both parents. It’s hard not to get livid at some of the just plain dumb journalism out there. That article completely blew a fairly normal marital tension (one which is an opportunity for both partners to grow and learn) out of proportion. Apparently journalism is no different to fiction-writing: your story needs a hero/heroine and it needs a villain.

Thanks for the reference, Eric. What stupidity we put up! I just blogged about Dads in the Media recently at - hope it contributes to the conversation.

Pete Aldin
June 14, 2007

Whoops, here am I ranting about the stupidity of the journalist, then I forget to copy in that link! Duh

http://www.freakedoutfathers.com/2007/06/08/the-office-of-dad-in-the-media/

number1dad
June 17, 2007

Fantastic! Thanks for this. It’s about time we all fought the stereo type.
I feel like The Exception so many times - I pay child support (and have done)EVERY month; I see my kids twice a week; I complain if I can’t see them; I miss them every single day ; I hug them every time I see them; I never miss a birthday/fathers day; and I can safely say,without bragging, that I put them first in my life.
I don’t think that list is a big deal. It’s just being a Dad.

Jakob
July 27, 2007

This is exactly what I expected to find out after reading the title t Suck as Parents. Thanks for informative article

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