I have discovered it. I considered writing a tell all, best-seller. Perhaps touring the world with a carnival side show - a red velvet curtain that people pay to enter and learn this profound secret. Then I thought about putting the secret inside a soap wrapper and getting into the soap business. Imagine the millions I would make as scores of divorced parents scrambled to learn the secret of a well adjusted child.

Instead, I have decided to just post my formula online. Open Source parenting, if you will. Feel free to adjust to your needs and improve. Just, please, make sure that you credit the owner and provide the improved version as well.

Well adjusted Child from Divorced Parents = Shared Parenting (as near equal as possible) + Interest in Child + Quality Time + (Common Sense x 1,000) - (Bitchiness and Vindictiveness) + Love and Support

Please keep in mind that this formula can still work very well with the Bitchiness and Vindictiveness as long as the child does not see or sense it. However, the formula actually creates bitterness, depression, and insecurity if the Shared Parenting element is missing.

Why the long ramble? Here’s why. I was “congratulated” by my Son’s 2nd Grade teacher recently on how well behaved, mannered, and adjusted my son is. According to his teacher, she has never met a child from divorce that is so confident and well-adjusted. I don’t know what you’re doing, she said, but kudos to you. It’s called luck - I’m lucky that my ex-wife set a precedent during our separation that equated to me receiving custody of my son 45% of the week. Thank goodness for small miracles.

She does not tell you social scientist support shared parenting and the children of divorce by a 70 percent margin did not like the time they lost from the non-custodial parent they were kept from.

Preach on, man. I hear ya.  Shared parenting works. It’s crucial to the formula.