I am overwhelmed at how many people contact me. Here was one father’s story. You can find the full story in the Your Voice Section or by clicking here.

I would guess my story isn’t much different than the others you’ve heard. I divorced about 3 year ago and married my high school sweetheart. For me it was a recognition of a mistake that I had made countless years before.

In the previous marriage we had two wonderful boys. I was very close with them and after the separation gained custody of the children. My ex was at best a drifter and at worst an opportunist and a compulsive liar and voluntarily signed away custody of the children. As she slowly got herself into a position to argue for a change of custody (based in large part on her living with a new boyfriend) she began to alienate the boys during each each of their visits. Naïve as I was, I still concluded that having both parents was important. I continually reminded the boys to call, talked with them about issues that bothered them since their mother lived in a different state, comforted them when she failed to deliver on her promises, and funded most of her visits. I had asked for no child support and took on the responsibility of raising them with no financial assistance from the mother. This was in direct contradiction to the opinions of my attorney, but men believe in fairness above all else.

I am overwhelmed at how many people contact me. Here was one father’s story. You can find the full story in the Your Voice Section or by clicking here.

I would guess my story isn’t much different than the others you’ve heard. I divorced about 3 year ago and married my high school sweetheart. For me it was a recognition of a mistake that I had made countless years before.

In the previous marriage we had two wonderful boys. I was very close with them and after the separation gained custody of the children. My ex was at best a drifter and at worst an opportunist and a compulsive liar and voluntarily signed away custody of the children. As she slowly got herself into a position to argue for a change of custody (based in large part on her living with a new boyfriend) she began to alienate the boys during each each of their visits. Naïve as I was, I still concluded that having both parents was important. I continually reminded the boys to call, talked with them about issues that bothered them since their mother lived in a different state, comforted them when she failed to deliver on her promises, and funded most of her visits. I had asked for no child support and took on the responsibility of raising them with no financial assistance from the mother. This was in direct contradiction to the opinions of my attorney, but men believe in fairness above all else.

I received a new story over the weekend and have added it to the Your Voice section. Make sure and read Big Lies to show your support. Thanks again, Dave, for having the courage to share your story. I truly hope that you are allowed your rightful place in your children’s lives.

Don’t forget:

I have just added a new story to the Your Voice section. Thanks to “anonymous” for his time and effort. It is appreciated. Make sure and check it out. It is a startling account of the fear many divorced fathers live with on a daily basis that if they do just one thing to upset the custodial parent they may lose time with their children.

I am excited to say that I received not one, but TWO, responses to my call to hear Divorced Dads’ Voices. Currently, I have placed both individual’s entries in its entirety on the Your Voice page. In the near future, as I receive more responses, I will break them up into smaller entries with a “read more” link.

Please, take the time to read these responses. It was obvious that Ronald and Danny put a lot of time and effort into these entries. Thanks again to both of you. Your stories are truly inspiring and confirm what I have believed all along- that there are a lot of fathers who want equal access, not to bash feminists and tip the scale, and that divorced fathers DO want to be heard!

I read a really touching post this morning on a MySpace account. A divorced father is going to court to fight for custody of his son and is terrified. There were a few things he wanted the world to know, so I’m going to help him out.

I want the world to know….. The law system was not made for the father. It was made to protect the mother and children. The father’s rights are very rarely taken into consideration. Mothers: Take advantage Fathers: Beware But given that fact, I am going to court on Monday. I am going to fight for custody of my son like he asked me to. I am not gonna state my whole case here, but I would like everyone to know that fathers care too. Fathers try too. Fathers are not always bad and children should never be a pawn. Sometimes there are some people that learn from examples and don’t become them. Sometimes people go through experiences that they want to correct. Sometimes people just see a pure and innocent child and want to be their world. That is what I see in all 5 of my children. I hope that those of you that know me best kow that I am a pure and true soul. And the most important thing to me is my children. And I hope those of you that know that will wish me luck (say a prayer…..whatever suits you) on Monday. Cuz I am freakin out!!!!! I love these kids and this is killin me!

The comments on this post were supportive and caring. But, they also reveal a lot about what most people think about the Family Court System and custody battles. One comment, in particular hit me the hardest. It’s interesting because she is reassuring this man that there is hope. But listen to how hopeless is sounds:

Family courts are getting better about seeing what’s best for the child and not just giving the child to the mom and assuming that the dad can’t take care of the child because…well, he’s a dad. The system isn’t perfect, we all know that…and sometimes things don’t go the way we want them to. A very good friend of mine is going through the same thing only the baby is 10 months old, and it has been dragging out since the child was born. At least the judge is giving him his time in court, the child is to young to be asked what he wants. It will be especially hard because you can’t prove her unfit. . .

Let me be very clear here. I am extremely impressed and grateful that this woman took the time to comment and offer a supportive shoulder, and I am not taking anything away from her kindness. I wish there were more like her. I just find it disturbing that people obviously recognize that “the system isn’t perfect” and that some divorced fathers have to essentially prove the mother can’t take care of the child in order to having a fighting chance. A father should have equal access to their child by default! There should never be a time when someone needs to tell a father “good luck in Family Court, maybe the Courts will get it right. It happens sometimes.”

Good luck to you. I hope that justice is served, and that both you and your ex get the equal access you are entitled to.

Don’t forget I have the “Your Stories” section. I would really love to start getting stories from divorced fathers, whether it’s about your experience with the Family Courts or just how much you love your kids. Email me your stories, or I’ll take them like I did this Dad’s :).