So, after an absolutely RIDICULOUS amount of time upgrading my Wordpress blog yet again, it’s apparently operational. Now that I have that out of my system, on to other things. 

I got an email from my wife today telling me that one of her friends had fallen victim to a society that can’t seem to do the simplist thing - allow equal rights for divorced parents. Her friend, a father who has taken care of his child for years after the child’s mother decided to take off, woke up today to find out that she had taken the child and left. That’s right. Un-enrolled the child from school, packed a bag, and moved 400 miles away.

A little back story - the child’s mother had recently come back and essentially decided that she wanted her daughter now. Obviously, the father was not okay with this and decided to get a lawyer and get custody. They had no previous custoday arrangement - I’m sure partly because the mother had run off. Nonetheless, I guess the mother decided that court systems and her daughter’s wishes and well being were a real drag, so she just up and left with the daughter. 

This is heart breaking to me. I can’t even imagine how that would feel or what I would do in that situation. How do you deal with that? How do you react? Some might say, “go get the daughter back.” Seems logical. But not really. Not only do you have to consider the trauma of pulling the child back and forth, but that would look very bad in the court’s eyes. 

Lessons Learned: 
 

1. Get a good lawyer
2. Get a CUSTODY agreement. Even if it’s not ideal, it’s still supposedly enforceable. 
3. Don’t divorce a heartless psycho who’s willing to steal your child in order to satiate their own needs.
4. Tell your Congressman that you demand Shared Parenting legislation. 

Here is a comment that was left yesterday on my Squidoo Lens for Divorced Dads Matter. Anyone in the Tennessee/Alabama area that has experience with this and can help, please help him out. You can contact him by going to his Squidoo profile.

I have a great interest in these lines. Her name is Emma Rae. I had visitation set up with her mother for 3 years until a court mistake made her mad. Now I have not seen her since March 3, 2008. I know that may seem like a short time to some dads who have been deprived of they children for years, but for me it’s been hell. Her mother and I set up support and visitation on our own. I know now that that was a disaster waiting to happen, but at the time it was the most financially feasible for both of us. And for me there are still financial restrictions for me. I am reading this site for info and help. My daughter resides in Tennessee, but I live in Alabama. If there is anyone who can guide me through the paperwork I need, it would be greatly appreciated. I will use the links in this lens to see where they take me. Sorry if I took up a lot of spaces , but this is a venue that I hope may help myself and a lot of other dads. Keep up the good work.
ps. Those are some great photos of your son.

Take up as much space as you need…

I just wanted to take a moment to say Happy Father’s Day to all dads. This Father’s Day was a little bitter-sweet for me. My father died several years ago, and this year was a little tough. But, reading the stories of father’s who don’t get to see their children, or have to constantly fight just for a few moments, reminds me of how grateful I am to have my boy in my life and to be able to be there for him.

My father was a good man, but he suffered from the disease of alcoholism. It was that disease that eventually killed him at the age of 52. I spent a lot of my childhood and adulthood resenting him. Then he was gone. Today, I try to make the most of my role as a father - to love and spend time with my son.

For Father’s Day, we went to Dave and Buster’s and played video games. It was a great time. It’s seeing him happy that truly makes me happy. No Father’s Day gift can match that smile of his. I also took him for his first motorcycle ride and surprised him with a stop at a local park. Those are the times that I just can’t get enough of.

Again, Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there. If you spent Father’s Day without your children, remember that you will always be their Dad no matter what.

Last year Robb MacKenzie and Robert Pedersen biked from Lansig, MI to Washington D.C. in order to raise awareness for Equal Parenting. This year they are doing it again. Check out the Cycling4Children web site to learn more about last year’s en devour and show your support for this year.

This is truly an amazing cause and bring much needed attention to the issue of equal parenting. All to often, divorcing and divorced dads are viewed as an option - like leather interior in a new car. It’s nice to have, but not necessary. It’s time this misandric attitude was put to rest. Do what you can to support this great cause.

MSNBC published a story on Monday about MomBlocking. What is momblocking you ask? Well, it’s a ridiculously stupid and injurious phrase that describes what happens when fathers do what society has been accusing them of not doing for years- being an involved parent. Yep. Involved dads everywhere, you’re doing TOO good of a job. Please stop and go back to doing nothing except farting in your children’s faces and demonstrating how to sit on the couch and watch sports. Apparently, the world is not ready for your involvement.

But almost four years into it, McClure-Metz began to feel her husband was maybe too capable. He had become more competent and assertive in the child-care arena and it showed in small ways. Metz took over when his wife struggled with the car seat, or put the kibosh on plans when he thought their daughter needed down time.

As a man, this is what I hear from our culture:

“Men don’t do enough. Men are lazy and not involved with their children. Men just want women to do everything. Men never pay child support. All divorced fathers are abusers. I’m so sick of men. Blah blah blah. ”

Two days later:
“You’re doing too much. Stop hogging the baby. It’s not right that you know how to take care of our child better than me. Stop being so good at it because now I resent you.”

Would you people please make your freakin’ mind up.

Happy Early Father’s Day to all you Momblocking and Non-momblocking Dads.

On Fox’s Mike and Juliet morning show, Glenn Sacks debates the validity of a Texas woman’s claim (Roman v Roman) that she should be able to use frozen embryos co-created by her divorced husband against his will. This is an interesting debate. I am interested in what the pro-choice stance on this issue entails. Personally, I can’t believe this is even up for debate. If a divorced man doesn’t want his EX-wife to have his children, then she shouldn’t be able to. . . period.